Ice Breakers...

Also known as the "Trig and Hippy double act"

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Postby Claw » Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:33 pm

As a Cruise Liner is about to capsize and sink a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone here who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

Got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today. Apparently security doesn't like it when you shout, "Hi Jack!"

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said, "You cannot do this, do you know who I am? I'm a very prominent politian!" The thief replied, "In that case, give me MY money!"

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint. The bartender says, "I understand," and pours two pints.
Just be a nutter... life becomes much more exciting, and people won't expect anything more of you...
Claw
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