There was a heat for the 200m Olympic women's breaststroke, and the eight women who entered the race were named Emily (Aus), Maggie (Nz), Liz (Aus), Jean (USA), Alice (Can), Wanda (Ger), Tina (Rom) and Rose (England).
After approximately 2 minutes and 10 seconds, Emily won the race, 5 seconds later, Maggie was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 40 minutes later, Rose finally completed the race.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, 'I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms.'
Olympics Jokes
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An attendant was keen to spread the audience out a little so that it wouldn't look like there are so many empty seats. As the Attendant guided different ones to different seats, he noticed a typical British supporter, y'know... Union Jacks, etc.. sprawled across three entire seats.
He whispered to him, "Sorry, sir, I know we want to fill out the seating, but you're only allowed one seat." The Brit mumbled, "Para" and wouldn't move. The attendant warned him now. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'll have no choice but to call the management and security will move you."
Again, the Brit just mumbled, "Bar"
The Attendant marched briskly back up the aisle and returned with the manager. Together the two of them repeatedly ordered him to move, but with no success. Finally, they summoned security. The security guy surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right fella, what's you're name?"
"Tom," the Brit mumbled.
"Yeah? Where ya from, Tom?"
Tom took a short breath and answered... "Parallel Bars..."
He whispered to him, "Sorry, sir, I know we want to fill out the seating, but you're only allowed one seat." The Brit mumbled, "Para" and wouldn't move. The attendant warned him now. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'll have no choice but to call the management and security will move you."
Again, the Brit just mumbled, "Bar"
The Attendant marched briskly back up the aisle and returned with the manager. Together the two of them repeatedly ordered him to move, but with no success. Finally, they summoned security. The security guy surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right fella, what's you're name?"
"Tom," the Brit mumbled.
"Yeah? Where ya from, Tom?"
Tom took a short breath and answered... "Parallel Bars..."
Just be a nutter... life becomes much more exciting, and people won't expect anything more of you...