Infamous Tesco Murders

[Hammer]

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young
husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance
policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging
to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious, dark-side,
underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained
to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was
£5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't
have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man
opened his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the pound
as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco where
he surprised her in the fruit & vegetable department. There he proceeded
to strangle her with his gloved hands, but as the poor unsuspecting
woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor the manager of the
fruit & vegetable department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder
scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, Artie had no
choice but to strangle the manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by
hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who
immediately called the police.

Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the
whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the
hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared............



















'ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO!'

[Phant0m]

Hammer

you deserve a good slapping for making me read that with a terrible ending shame on you